Archive for the ‘Ridiculous!’ Category

There goes my Senate seat…

December 9, 2008

Rod Blagojevich (Illinois Governor, imbecile)

This actually happened.

December 9, 2008

I was at the airport yesterday morning. I was hungry. I went to McDonald’s. This actually happened.

McDonalds (logo)

McDonald's (logo)

I went up to the counter and ordered an egg and bagel sandwich. Just egg and bagel.

“What do you want?” the cashier asked.

“Just egg and bagel,” I repeated.

“You want cheese?” she asked.

“Nope, just egg and bagel,” I said. This actually happened.

She then asked me, “What kind of egg do you want: round, square, or scrambled.”

I’m going to repeat that. She then asked me, “What kind of egg do you want: round, square, or scrambled.”

McDonald's (really?!)

McDonald's (really?!)

This actually happened. Unbelievable.

Yet another reason why I love StumbleUpon

November 10, 2008

I found this picture on StumbleUpon. Try looking at this without laughing. Go on, try:

Morgan Freeman w/cotton candy

Morgan Freeman w/cotton candy (hilarious)

See? Couldn’t do it, could you?

Late-falling leaves

November 10, 2008

The weather is getting worse in these United States. And as the temperature drops here in the Midwest — proud home of Dr. and Mrs. Coffee — those trees with remaining leaves are left to fight for themselves. We are left to wonder: what happens to these trees? Do the leaves just freeze off? Or do they fall because they are jealous of their friends, who long since fled their branches?

These are kind of thoughts that have preoccupied us for the last week, resulting in the absense of new posts. But fear not, gentle readers! More is on the way.

Visual aid:

A proud tree

A proud tree

Basic mathamatics – music edition

November 3, 2008
AC
Air conditioner (or “AC”)

+ (plus)

Washington D.C.
Washington D.C.

= (equals)

AC/DC
AC/DC (rock legends)

Q.E.D.

Goldfish are cool.

October 24, 2008

Evidence:

Goldfish (totally cool)

Goldfish (totally cool)

You see those sunglasses? Classic cool.

The origins of an Internet sensation

October 22, 2008
Face (smiley)
Face (smiley)

+ (plus)

Book (old)
Book (old)

= (equals)

Facebook (screenshot, c.o. the Internet)
Facebook (screenshot, c.o. the Internet)

Q.E.D.

Basic mathamatics, pt. 2 (political edition)

October 22, 2008
Exit (sign)
Exit (sign)

+ (plus)

Poll (highly sophisticated)
Poll (highly sophisticated)

= (equals)

Barack Obama (projected winner)
Barack Obama (projected winner; hope enthusiast)

Q.E.D.

New Post

October 21, 2008

So I was thinking today, why don’t more people spend their time drinking apple juice? It’s delicious, it’s nutrcious, it’s high in sugar. It’s like nature’s motor oil, only if people regularly drank motor oil and it tasted like apple juice.

Visual aid:

Apple juice

Apple juice (from concentrate)

Motor Oil:

Motor oil

Motor oil (tasty/delicious)

As our visual evidence shows, motor oil is at least greater than or equal to apple juice in taste, quality and nutritional content.

In conclusion, Nader ’08!

Sexy produce

October 16, 2008

8 Most Attractive Fruits and Vegetables:


1) Butternut squash – Magnificent curves.

Butternut squash

Butternut squash

2) Pears – Baby got back.

Pear

Pear

3) Strawberries – Plump, delectable, juicy — they’re like the boobs of produce. No wonder they’re top-heavy.

Strawberry

Strawberry

4) Asparagus – For those who like ’em skinny. And check out that crazy hair!

Asparagus

Asparagus

5) Bananas – I think you know why…

Banana

Banana

6) Jalapenos – Now that shit is HOT. Seriously, they’re really spicy. And I hear they get around, so be sure to use protection.

Jalapenos

Jalapenos

7) Oranges – What, am I the only one who finds oranges attractive? Come on, like you’ve never thought about an orange that way.

Oranges

Oranges

8 ) Watermelon – 50% melon, 50% water, 100% sexy. Plus: seedless.

Watermelon

Watermelon

Yeah, that’s the stuff.